All right readers, I know that most of the opinion pieces that you’ve seen from me have been in a more angry tone (ask anyone who knows me, I’m generally a grumpy person). So, I’m going to change it up a bit for once. Look at me, making new year resolutions (just kidding, the idea of me not being angry was never on the table to begin with).
What could I possibly write about that isn’t angry, you may ask? Dear readers, that would be the melancholy feeling I’m experiencing because I’m moving a thousand miles away from home. I’m trading anger for sadness, yay!
Sarcasm aside, I really do want to talk about how terrifying the idea of leaving everything I know to move to a city and state I’m completely unfamiliar with is. Terrifying, but also it’s exciting and different.
As many of you could have guessed from my position at Wingspan, I’m wanting to get my bachelor’s degree in photography. Specifically, from the Savannah College of Art and Design in Savannah, Georgia. This school became my dream college when was 16. At the time, it was more of a pipe dream, something I could never quite reach. It’s a private school, about $50,000 a year, and labelled as the Harvard of art schools. I never thought it would be possible for me, yet here I am four years later talking to admissions reps and trying to find a way to nickel and dime every asset I can to attend.
The initial thoughts I’ve had centered around the how and when; mainly logistical planning. But now, oh boy, now it’s hitting me that I’m moving a thousand miles away in less than a year. Yikes. I honestly got so caught up in the idea of going there that I forgot I have to leave everything I’ve known for the past 10 years of my life.
I’m going to be honest, I’m terrified and anxious. The thought of leaving my family and friends makes me want to cry.
And leaving my cat; God, leaving my cat tears my heart into a million pieces. Let me tell you, dear reader, mentioning my cat may seem ridiculous to you, but that cat is basically my child and it makes me so upset to leave my baby.
Leaving everything I know is where this melancholy feeling is stemming from. I have to keep reminding myself that leaving home will open so many doors for me and give me the opportunity to have my dream job (a badass National Geographic photographer). When I think about it that way, it takes some of the weight off my heart and gives me something to look forward to.
I know that where I need to be this coming September isn’t in Cheyenne. This may sound harsh but it’s the truth: Cheyenne isn’t an environment where I’ll flourish. In all honesty, I feel as though too many close-minded people reside here and I can’t be the person I want to be. I feel as though I’m drowning and I need a breath of fresh air. And Savannah, Georgia, is sure to give me all the air I need.
I know I’m not leaving forever, but going months in between visiting my family and friends breaks my heart a little more every time I think about it. My entire life is centered in Cheyenne. And even though I say I dislike our small town (and I partially do), it does have a place in my heart. If not for the town itself, for the people in it that I’ve come to love so much. You know who you are.
All-in-all, this entire experience has been, and probably will continue to be bittersweet for me. As cliché as it sounds, I’ll be starting a new chapter of my life and I’m both terrified and excited. Nothing is worthwhile unless there’s a little risk and terror, right? Someone make a mental note to slap me with those words when I’m in my dorm room all alone and sobbing because I don’t have my kitty cat to cuddle.